Prior to his CNN career, Wolf Blitzer frequented the gossip magazines, once asking Hugh Grant’s then-wife, Liz Hurley, why she had never been in a movie with Virginia Madsen, to which she replied, “Hugh Virginia.” , is afraid of the wolf.”
-P. Bjorkman, California (Will Puns)
As the fearsome Jabberwock bore down on Baldor the Uncanny, he suddenly regretted passing on the Vorple Sword in favor of the “Whirlpool” sword which was half the price and “practically the exact same thing, I swear. That you wouldn’t even notice it. The difference.”
-James Avery, Tennessee (Children’s and young adult literature)
While scrolling through the Acme website’s online catalog trying to decide whether to order rocket roller skates, TNT, and an anvil, or—fool-me-twice—fake tunnel paint, Coyote suddenly Realized, ‘Hey, I can just order. food.’
– R. Hamilton, Oregon (Odious outliers)
As the hot air balloon ascended into the still morning air in his native Bavaria, Stefan’s nerves were on edge as he reached into his jacket pocket and fumbled for the small velvet box containing his grandmother’s wedding ring, clearing his throat. did, and dropped to one knee. Before his beloved Gwendolyn; Meanwhile, our story begins on a cold, rainy day on a pig farm near Belgrade, Nebraska.
-J. Greene, Texas (Purple prose)
“Congratulations,” said the alien, who found — in a pre-budget idea for a future Netflix series adaptation — surprisingly attractive as a twenty-something human wearing colored contact lenses and spandex.
–M. Birch, Australia (Science fiction)
You can read the full list, including grand prize winners, Here at this dark and stormy link. Preferably while the dog barks in the distance.
And now, our feature presentation…
Cheers and cheers for Friday, September 2, 2022
Note: Just a heads up—there will be no C&J on Labor Day, so you’ll have to brace yourself for the spam, discarded top-secret documents, and tinfoil. Please file complaints with appropriate authorities. Or just think them up in your head and the NSA will forward them to the proper authorities for free. –Mgt.
By the numbers:
Days to Fall: 20
until the day Farm-to-Fork Festival in the Sacramento, California: 6
The estimated percentage by which international shipping costs have decreased, thanks to the Ocean Shipping Reform Act: 45%
The Conference Board’s consumer confidence index for August, after three consecutive monthly declines and above 95.3 in July: 103.2
Percentage of Americans polled by Gallup who call A year after the Afghanistan war pulled out the last of our troops, a mistake: 50%
Average price of gas in MainIt’s below $4 for the first time since March: $3.98
Percentage of Americans who say they plan to have a BBQ this weekend: 61%
Puppy Picture of the Day: Weekend plans…
cheers The rigor of the work. Monday is Labor Day, and good people Vox All you barge-toters and bale-lifters got something cool to mark the occasion: charts! Four of them, in fact, suggest this The labor movement is back on the march And ready to make a comeback. Result:
Workers are unionizing at some of America’s most iconic companies and industries that were previously considered non-unionizable. They are also doing so against the backdrop of a decades-long decline in union membership, which has led to the elimination of benefits and wages that have not kept pace with the cost of living.
Lately, the news has been filled with stories of everyone from baristas to warehouse workers voting for unions and bargaining over contracts — a trend that looks like unions are once again on the rise.
Indeed, a series of recent statistics suggest that these union gains are more than just headlines. From election victories to collective action, 2022 has been a great year for unions so far. In the first half of the year, unions won 641 elections — the most in nearly 20 years, according to data from Bloomberg Law, which analyzed data from the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB).
And to all the right-wing crabbypants who make fun of unions but still belong to them and love The benefits they get from them (though they’ll never admit it): You’re welcome.
cheers For this week’s four sweetest words in the English language: Sarah Palin lost again. Yes, our country dodged another bullet in the form of ranked-choice voting Top off his Democratic challenge In a special election to replace the late Congressman Don Young. And what a win! Not only was the result a direct rebuke of Donald Trump’s support force, the woman who won is making all kinds of history:
Democrat Mary Peltola is the winner Alaskahas a special U.S. House race and is poised to become the first Alaska Native in Congress, after votes were tallied Wednesday in the state’s first ranked election. … Peltola, a former UPIk state lawmaker who calls Bethel House, now expected to be the first woman to hold Alaska’s only US House seat.
Paltola will be the first Democrat to join AlaskaThe three-person congressional delegation since U.S. Sen. Mark Begich lost re-election in 2014. And he beat two Republicans to do it.
The bad news: It’s only a three-month gig—Petola has to run again in November for the full two-year term. The good news: It looks like it will be an exact replay of Wednesday’s result, with Republicans Palin and Nick Begich hammering each other again. May the best sitting Alaska Native Congresswoman win.
cheers Until the happy ending. When I was a kid I used to think of this joke that I thought was funny:
Question: How long did World War II last?
A: One day. It started on September 1 and ended on September 2.
[Pees pants from laughing so hard]
Anyway… 77 years ago today, President Harry Truman proclaimed September 2, 1945 as Victory over Japan Day, ending World War II. But Truman refused to fly to the deck of an aircraft carrier and deliver the news under the “Mission Accomplished” banner. His exact words, if I remember correctly: “Only a fool would do that.”
Brief prudence break
Eliminate brief prudence breaks
cheers All the way to the happiest ending…WOOH! on the 3 September 1783Our freedom war ended when A the treaty was signed by Great Britain And United States:
It was signed in Paris Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and John J.
Under the terms of the treaty, britain recognized the independent nation of United States of America.
britain Agreed to withdraw all its troops from the new nation. The treaty also set new borders for United Statesincluding all the land of Great Lakes On the north Florida On the south, and from Atlantic Ocean to Mississippi River. …the United States Still did not agree to persecute the faithful America And allow those who leave America to go back.
Later, the founding fathers gathered in a circle, held hands, and Pledge of Allegiance. And then Jesus rode up on a dinosaur with the news that he had just finished digging. Grand Canyon. Things you learn on Conservapedia these days…
cheers To house plants. Now September is here and Main Until next June (18 inches last night) it snows, TV is in complete control of our lives.
Unfortunately there isn’t much on this weekend, now that the 24-hour Jerry Lewis MDA telethon has been ripped from the fabric of society like a strip of cheap Velcro. (When I worked in A Saginaw, Michigan radio station in the late 80s, we were always volunteering to man the MDA phones at night, and it was a little awkward doing it in a big empty mall. 2 am. However, they did grow for some good tea. But zombies were disgusting.)
The most popular movies and streamer home videos, new and old, are all reviewed Here on Rotten Tomatoes. You can check WNBA schedule hereWhile Baseball lineup Here isThe Boston Red Sox actor who has won so many World Series that everyone has lost count, believe me.
on the 60 minutes: Reports on how Covid-19 affects children’s mental health, kickers in professional football, and an architecture firm dedicated to serving society. Besides, the TV realm is a wasteland and god help you if you choose to wander into it.
Now here’s your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: TBA
CNN’s State of the Union: FEMA Director DN Criswell; Senator and all-around goddess Patty Murray (D-WA).
this week: White House Senior Advisor for Public Engagement Keisha Lance Bottoms; Rep. Michael McCaul (The Cult-TX), Jackson, Mississippi Mayor Chokwe Antara Lumumba on the water crisis that Republicans created; President of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and former acting CDC director Dr. Richard Besser.
Face the Nation: House Jan. 6 Committee Member Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-CA); Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson (D); former Governor Davell Patrick (D-MA); Jared Holt, an expert on right-wing hate and extremism; Karen Kornbluh, head of the German Marshall Fund’s Digital Innovation and Democracy Initiative.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Governor Phil Murphy (D-NJ); DCCC Chair Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney (D-NY) and NRCC Chair Rep. Tom Emmer (The Cult-MN).
Ten years ago in C&J: September 2, 2012
cheers For the highlight of the weekend. Here in Maine, medical marijuana is legal, and tomorrow there’s going to be a little gathering in Deering Oaks Park. Atlantic Canafest. That’s great—there’s been no pushback from the city’s residents, and the police say they’re not going to do anything out of the ordinary in the meantime. People planning to visit will find it easily. Just look for an area of the park where food vendors outnumber attendees two-to-one.
And just one more…
cheers To cool science. When all the death, destruction, and destruction becomes too much, there is always one place I can count on to restore my faith in humanity. I am of course talking about Dairy Queen. But when they’re closed the next-best place is, of course, NASA, a jewel in the federal government’s crown and a An agency worth every tax dollar we send it. If you live under one sky, here’s a preview of what you’ll be seeing this month, courtesy of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory:
Remember this important lesson: No one in space can hear you scream. So make sure your texting device is fully charged so that you can type successfully Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Great weekend. The floor is open…what are you kidding today?