Workplace relationships — like any other relationship — put your personal skills to use, often involving every bit (if not more) of your time and energy, too. “The workplace is just a small part of the larger system we work in,” says psychologist Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT. “Whenever people interact with others on a regular basis, as they do at work, there is a high probability that behavioral patterns known as cohesive styles will emerge.”
“Whenever people interact with others on a regular basis, as they do at work, there is a high probability that the attachment styles will emerge.” -Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT, psychologist
Divided into four main categories, these types of attachments include safe (ability to trust, access to vulnerability); anxiety (often unsure of where they stand, seeking reassurance); avoidance (frequently disrupting close relationships or friendships); and disorder (a certain combination of anxious and avoidable tendencies). “The idea of solidarity theory is that you learn how to have relationships in the family you grow up in, and that relationship style becomes your style of bonding with adults,” says medical psychologist Aimee Daramus, PsyD. “Then there is the possibility of copying that pattern in other relationships, including work relationships, throughout adult life, unless you put in the effort to change it.”
For example, if your guardians did not always meet your caregivers when you were a child, and you realized that you would not trust others to keep their promises, you could develop a pattern of attachment and anxiety that arises in your adult relationships — perhaps showing them to adults. at work for your lack of confidence about whether your manager or co-workers have your back. However, a person with a secure cohesive style (derived from a more supportive upbringing) may find himself more confident in his position at work and more confident in his peers.
Below, experts analyze all the different ways in which having each style of attachment can affect your workplace experience, so you can gather knowledge about what, well, is working (and not what).
This is how people of every style of appendix experience the workplace experience
In the same way that people in safe relationships thrive in romantic relationships, they also enjoy “forming close relationships with others at work and having confidence in those in leadership,” says Hendrix. In the theory of attachments, these are the direct result of being able to trust and rely on caregivers as a child, or to watch adults in their fields trust each other (with positive results) throughout their childhood.
This ability among people who have a secure relationship to have strong relationships with others also means that they are more likely to work well in teams and in group projects without over-ownership or having border problems, says Dr. Daramus. What emerges as a result is often a strong network of co-workers who “can keep you out of the risk of fatigue and more stress at work as a whole,” he says.
In fact, research confirms that: In a 1990 survey of 290 people, only securely connected respondents were less likely to fear failure and rejection by co-workers – something that would make them. more the possibility of developing strong relationships with these fellow players who could use them to their advantage.
“People with secure relationships [typically] be able to cope with stress at work and the ability to seek help from others when needed. ” -Dina Wirick, PhD, medical psychologist
To be clear, that does not mean that everything is all right at work for those who are kept safe. But when difficult situations or disagreements (of course) arise, they are usually well-equipped to handle it. “People with secure relationships [typically] be able to cope with stress at work and the skills to seek help from others when needed, ”says medical psychologist Dina Wirick, PhD. And in such a situation, they are less likely to move around when they are confronted with important opinions than their counterparts who are not securely connected, he adds. Rather than questioning their relationship with their manager or themselves after receiving such criticism, they may be more inclined to look at it objectively.
Often because of abusive relationships or inappropriate relationships with their caregivers during childhood, anxious people may have a deep fear of abandonment or rejection which makes them seek reassurance from anyone with whom they have a relationship — possibly including staff. colleagues or supervisors.
These people may be concerned about the “hidden meaning behind important ideas” or “too much personalization of constructive criticism” as a sign of their lack of value or value, says Drs. Wirick. Similarly, they may misinterpret delays in response from their boss or co-workers as rejection, which can increase anxiety and reduce productivity, he adds.
It is likely that all of these concerns surrounding interactions with colleagues could increase the risk of burnout, according to a 2014 survey of more than 1600 employees in Canada. In fact, the study found that anxiety was highly correlated with “experience-filled and provocative workplace fatigue, fatigue, and anxiety.”
In terms of work ethic, however, a person associated with anxiety may be constantly working to improve their skills or performance, says Hendrix (as part of their efforts to fully accept it). “It is very rare to cause problems or to question things in order to follow the flow,” he says, which can lead to minor conflicts at work. “And because of their anxiety, they also tend to be more alert,” adds Hendrix, “discovering threats or dangers in front of others.”
As the name implies, people with avoidance of attachment tend to avoid or push others when possible, especially because of honesty issues. Typically, this is due to childhood upbringing and caregivers who were unloving, unresponsive, or simply not available. And because of that, an avoidable employee tends to avoid social interactions in the workplace (avoiding those at the last minute or unexpected at any cost) and refraining from responding to any kind of critical feedback, says Dr. Wirick.
In some cases, that means that an employee with a avoidance attitude will put himself or herself alone at work, but in other cases, they may show a clear disagreement with or criticize superiors and those in leadership, says Hendrix. “In extreme cases, they can be seen as the culprits that cause friction,” he says. But usually, they are the only wolves in the workplace pack.
Without being able to develop emotional relationships with co-workers, people who avoid “may feel isolated but do not know what to do about it,” says Drs. Daramus. And without a support network, they are more likely to suffer from fatigue, too, he adds.
At the same time, however, avoiders can be extremely productive — especially in jobs that involve less personal work — because they can “concentrate on the task at hand without being distracted by distractions or daytime activities,” says Hendrix. .
It is random
An unusual card, a person with a random attachment style carries some of the characteristics of stressful and avoidable styles, says Hendrix, so you never know what you will find when you interact with them. That is often the result of childhood that they were forced to act, to some degree, as adults, and make them feel as if everything around them was confusing and unpredictable, says Dr. Daramus.
“Sometimes, a person with a random relationship can act as if he wants to be part of a team and aspire to be approved, and sometimes, they can push people away, shut up, and criticize others,” says Hendrix. In general, that is because their previous attempts — which may seem like people — to enjoy interacting with the group — seem to fail, in their eyes, so much so that they never feel supported by their co-workers. “They may feel that they are not always good enough or that they are not good enough as long as they are not perfect,” says Drs. Daramus. And because of that, they would turn to push people away, in some cases, out of helplessness.
The lack of due to their behavior can no doubt cause them to damage their workplace relationships, says Hendrix.
How to apply the information about your appendix style to your advantage at work
If you know your style of attachment and how you emphasize your work ethic at work, you can talk to co-workers and supervisors about how you prefer to work (either individually or in a group, for example), how well you respond to feedback, and the kind of assurance you may need to feel safe and confident that your work is valued.
It is also important to remember, from the beginning, that your behavior is not what you are. “It’s a natural reaction to what you did or did not do when you were growing up a fully functional human,” says Hendrix. And many people did not get what they needed from their parents or guardians for a reason they they also did not get what they needed, ”he says.
But instead of using that cycle as an excuse, it is possible to put a bosh on it beneficially by giving. yourself what you needed but did not get, he says. By doing so, you may also be able to learn the unhealthy behavioral patterns (which you just took in response to your previous needs not being met) – and, in turn, change your adult-connected style.
Hendrix recommends working with a psychiatrist who specializes in Emotional Therapy if you are aiming to change your cohesive or empathetic style and better understand yourself and your behavior, how they stand.