Iin the 2017 episode of the comedy series Brooklyn Tisa-Tisa, Latinx American actress Rosa Diaz (played by Stephanie Beatriz) tells her co-workers that she is bisexual. He then says he will answer questions about it from colleagues, whom he has known for many years, in “one minute and zero seconds.” The first to ask Rosa a question was a Cuban colleague, Amy Santiago (played by Melissa Fumero). Amy asks Rosa how long she has been known to be bisexual, to which Rosa replies: “Since seventh grade. I was watching Saved by Alarm and I thought, ‘Zack Morris is hot. Then I thought, Lisa Turtle — it’s too hot. ”
I am a first generation, cisgender, Mexican American, and I am also bisexual; me clearly bisexual people and friends (including my younger sister), classmates, at work, and on dating programs — but I still haven’t left my parents, because I’m afraid they’ll love me a little. Growing up in my own family, which has been Catholic for generations, meant that heteronormativity — or the idea that “normal” sexual identity is only interested in the “opposite” sex — was a situation that prevailed in my household. (It would be years before I learned that there are a number of gender identities and types of sexuality.)
So, you can imagine my frustration when I had a traumatic event like Rosa’s I watched Lizzie McGuire on the Disney Channel as an 8-year-old. I thought, Gordo? Beautiful. Miranda? Also beautiful! To be honest, those feelings made me very nervous at the time.
Nancy Paloma Collins, LMFT, a Mexican American first-generation specialist and specialist, says many Latin people like me grow up in households where expectations are one of the opposite. But for someone whose sense of identity is not compatible with that fog, feeling the need to live up to those expectations can be difficult and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. That was certainly the case with me, as I came to understand my identity as a bisexual woman.
For a long time, I was afraid to admit — let alone celebrate — my sexuality because I was worried about how my immediate family and the largest Mexican American family would react.
For most of my life, I lived with my mother’s younger brother, who has been openly gay since I remember. Although there is no shortage of love in my family, my parents would often say that they ‘do not agree with his’ style’ of life. ” Such information was what made me tremble for years when I thought of going to them. For a long time, I was afraid to admit — let alone celebrate — my sexuality because I was worried about how my immediate family and the largest Mexican American family would react. I still haven’t figured out how that might look, because I am yet I’m afraid my parents will say something when I leave them. This fear may be related to my homosexuality, and at the age of 28 – as a bisexual woman – I finally decided to reveal that.
What is internal homophobia?
As is often the case with open-minded bias, most of us are not even aware that we have incorporated hateful attitudes toward people of the same sex. You may think you are progressive (and you can be real), but it is also possible that you are holding on to at least some homophobic attitudes because of different concepts in the mainstream society. We have been attacked by messages that tell us that direct is the only right way to be — which is reinforced by a lack of high-level representation in the media, including film, music, commercials and television. (Examples like the event mentioned above Brooklyn Tisa-Tisa they must be ordinary, unworthy to be observed.) Finally, in order to unlock and eliminate internal hatred, self-examination and reflection are essential.
Community co-ordinator and medical social worker Ronnie Véliz, MSW, states that a person who has developed homophobia has learned misconceptions or myths about quail people (though not necessarily intentionally) and holds them true. This misinformation — which can affect anyone, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation — can come from their families, neighborhoods, policies, news and pop culture.
Someone who has homophobia has learned a misconception or a myth about ignorant people (though not necessarily intentionally) and holds them true.
Additionally, it can mean different things. Although most people can reduce homosexuality to “gay fear,” that definition lacks the essential nuance and structure. The Encyclopædia Britannica finds this distinction even clearer in its definition of the word: “culture produced fear or prejudice against people of the same sex …. Although the prefix phobia in general it refers to the senseless cowardice, in the case of homosexuality, the term instead refers to the attitude from the slightest hint of hatred to hatred of persons who are sexually attracted to the same sex. “
When you know there are people out there who can “hate” your presence because of your identity, it can make coming out very scary. Realizing that my hatred for homosexuality as a two-woman woman may be the main reason for my reluctance to tell my parents, I sought professional help to identify my own strategies to unlock it.
3 Strategies to Unleash My Homosexuality and Celebrate My Homosexuality
1. Make a record of events that describe what I heard about people of the opposite sex
This exercise of creating a calendar of events, Véliz says, can help me to know when I started to develop homosexuality — which, in turn, can help me to break the stereotypes I have in my life. That’s because the process allows me to change new feelings and experiences of real life.
Although from a young age I found myself attracted to others no matter where they fell on sexuality and the scope of sexuality (sexuality is often mistakenly affected under the sexual system), I often thought to myself, But I would never be in a relationship with anyone who is not a man. That’s because of what I heard about bisexuals: “It’s phase!” “You’ll end up with a man, but!” “You’re just trying to be angry!”
I realized that the more I heard those things, the more I began to believe in myself. Part of getting rid of extreme lies required me to remind myself that those are not mine beliefs — they were just forced on me.
2. Name a family tree to remember what your family members have said about people of the opposite sex
As I was growing up, I often heard my parents reject my uncle’s “lifestyle,” and this led me to believe that my sexuality would not be good in my parents’ eyes either. In a rare situation where we would see a same-sex couple on a telenovela, my parents would look away or say something like, “What, then, is the purpose of the test? “ (“Why should they show it?”) That didn’t make me feel like they would be proud of me for being bisexual.
When my younger sister appeared as a bisexual person in front of me, though, I began to realize that it was okay not to be the same. Before my sister came out, I still considered myself a person of the opposite sex and sometimes, when I was comfortable with those around me, I would say “I was curious,” but for a long time, I was not comfortable accepting myself. or others that I’m, in fact, bisexual. “All of us in the community, at some point — are wondering, ‘says Collins. “We may have internal hatred, but that comes from outside and not from the inside out – because of society, because of the many things we go through, because we are pushed aside, and because we are not given equal rights.”
When I realize that my family’s attitude toward people who are not honest, I resolve issues that make me feel that there is something wrong with me being attracted to more than one person, says Véliz. From that point on, I can unravel the mystery to remind myself that what others think or feel has nothing to do with me being a real person.
3. Find people you like who share your gender
The key to using this strategy to fight your homophobia, Véliz says, is to find someone whose interests or professionalism match yours. For me, Véliz suggests looking for a bisexual person who shares with me other aspects of my identity, such as being a Latinx, a woman, and a person working in the media.
“Knowing that someone out there has paved the way for you to be who you are, or at least have the courage to fight for your own self-esteem, is empowering a lot of people,” Véliz says. the latter, I recognized Cuban writer, reporter, and self-proclaimed “bisexual” (according to her former Instagram profile) Suzy Exposito as the head of my list.
Former Latin music writer there Rolling stone and is now a music reporter Los Angeles Times, Exposito — who is openly bisexual — is a guide for me as a Latin, bisexual Latin writer. I have been following Exposito since May 2020, the same month Rolling stone The cover story on the reggeatón star Bad Bunny was published. At the time, I could not find a full-time secular job, and seeing only Exposito, a Latina of two sexes like me, gave me hope that there it was my place in this industry.
I still work to celebrate my sexuality with everyone in my life. But accepting it personally becomes easier when I expose the homosexuality that I have been holding on to for so long. Although I have not yet come from a mother, father, or uncle, my main goal in revealing my homosexuality is to remind myself that my bisexual behavior will not make them love me less when I find the strength to have that conversation. .
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